.finding nerdy: part ii.

so. tinder. bumble. whatever.

this is all very confusing. first, you have to have, like, a cool bio, and pictures that aren’t selfies, but wait, who else takes pictures? who am i kidding?

guess what, most friends are not good at making you look good in pictures, so a-selfie-ing i go. my profile bios suck, but the picture of me about to skydive seems to impress boys.

my principal loves me being on tinder.

“come sit by me. i will help you swipe. no, not him. no, not him. ooh, tattoos!”
“you are no help.”
“he’s riding an elephant. you’re not going out with him.”
“ewww, i would never!”

there is the engineer who is so very polite that he asks me things like “would you like to go on a second date,” and I do, and then he asks, “would you like to go on a third date?” and i have to say no. mostly, because he is boring and he told me that he and all the other engineers at work gather at lunch to play magic the gathering or something else i will never, ever not be able to roll my eyes at.

there is a very cute special education teacher who takes me out twice. then i ask him out and he tells me he doesn’t “feel the dating vibe.” i cry in my car, because it hurts to get rejected.

then there is that skater boy who takes me to the last dollar movie i ever go to at movies 8 in provo. he picks a kids’ movie so we can make out in the back row. i’m sad i let him because he is just not a good kisser.

“how was the date?”
“he tried to unhinge my jaw like an anaconda. with his tongue.”
“come sit by me. i’ll swipe some more for you.”

at least we aren’t talking about childbirth at lunch anymore.